Six Degrees of Separation
by simplynotmyselff
Summary: Jeff has never known the consequenses of a broken heart. He'd never understood the term a 'broken heart'. Not until he learned first handed the six degrees of separation.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, there.

Welcome to my new fic Six Degrees of Separation. I just have one message before you start: If you haven't heard the song by The Script, I strongly suggest you listen to it before you start this story.

Other than that, enjoy!

* * *

_**First** you think the worst is a broken heart._

* * *

It was a rainy day. The clouds had darkened the sky and a heavy morning air hung over the school grounds of Dalton. With his foot pressing deep into the muddy ground, Jeff passed the grounds heading to the main entrance of Dalton Academy. The school's bright red bricks contrasted against the grey, almost black, sky.

The boy adjusted the collar of his black Burberry coat, trying to beat the cold before it reached his neck. He should've worn a scarf, he knows. Hunter would kill him when he'd lose his voice.

The rain dripped down his long blond locks. He needed a hair cut, quite fast. The locks had grown over his eyes, almost touching his cheek. It wasn't that he didn't liked the length, he loved it. He loved it when he could rock out on an All Time Low song, or when Nick would run his hands through his hair.

Subconsciously, the boy ran a hand through his soaked hair, smiling when he thought about his boyfriend. _Nick._

With that smile Jeff continued over the school grounds, letting the rain do its thing and soak him and his Burberry coat, his once-light Diesel jeans and his warn-out, bright green, Converse.

Jeff loved the rain. Even if it portrait sadness, it also reassembled relaxation and peace, silence and calmness. It reminded him of the days he spend in the Rain Forest last summer, even though it had a completely different vibe here in Westerville.

The big wooden door of the school's main entrance came closer and Jeff was met by a familiar face, scolding at him, pointing at his ridiculous expensive coat.

"Hey br—"

"Where's your scarf, Jeffery?" The boy caught him off.

Jeff rolled his eyes, passing the boy as he entered the building. With the boy's hand on his back, between his shoulder blades, he moved through the hall, welcoming the warmth and feeling of home.

"What are you, Hunter? My mom?"

He heard the boy behind him growl and shouldn't have to look around to know Hunter was glaring at him.

When they entered the dinning hall Jeff felt the hand leave his back. This gave him the opportunity to move to the barista behind the counter and ask for a Vanilla Latte extra strong without sugar. As he waited, he undid the buttons of his coat and let the warmth of the dinning hall soak through his cold body.

"Jeff," Hunter began as he cued up behind Jeff, making the boy turn around. "you do know that when you lose your voice it's end of story for you, right? I can't have any of the Warblers being sick not when we're so close to Nationals."

Jeff flashed a polite smile to the barista and turned to Hunter with a raised eyebrow. "Hunt, it's Monday morning. Is there anything you can do other than complain about my health?"

With that the boy made an attempt to leave but stopped when he felt his phone vibrate in the inside of his coat. He held up his index finger, using the other four to hold the travel cup with coffee, signing for Hunter to wait for a moment. With his free hand he reached into the inside pocket of his coat and fished out his iPhone.

If it hadn't been within a second, it had been two but as soon as Jeff's eyes scanned the text a special kind of smile lit up his face. This to annoyance of Hunter, who was still waiting to continue his rant. Jeff unlocked his phone and typed out a reply with one hand before stocking his phone back in his coat. "Sorry, Hunt, gotta go." He was already at the doors before Hunter could say a word.

"Warbler practice at seven, be there!"

Something that sounded like: "Yeah, yeah..." echoed through the fairly empty halls which made Hunter shook his head. He turned around and ordered a cup of coffee.

Jeff nearly sprinted through the hallway, reaching the stairs. He took at least two flights a time, maybe even three. Being the sportsman he was (lacrosse, ice hockey, soccer, dancing) Jeff had enough stamina to make it two levels up without getting out of breath. The sucky thing being his destination was on the third floor. So when he finally reached the third floor he needed a few seconds to catch his breath and take a sip or two from his coffee. His crossed the hall, in normal speed this time, and stopped when he reached dorm number 103.

Jeff reminded himself that it was only 8:30 in the morning and most students were still asleep –Yes, it was Monday but all students had a day off because the teachers all had meetings about the students' learning processes. Who had good grades, who would fail, which students did they have to kick out because they couldn't keep up their 3.0 GPA, which students needed extra help or classes. Long story short, it was all about the students.-

He knocked softly on the door and waited patiently, sipping on his coffee. It didn't took long before the door opened but Jeff's smile went from huge to none, he frowned.

"Nicky? What's wrong?" He wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend when he saw the tears in his brown eyes.

The boy hugged back but it wasn't the usual hug he'd give Jeff. It felt forced and out of place. "We need to talk, Jeffery." And that's when Jeff let go. Nick never used his full name, ever.

He took a step back and inspected his boyfriend's features. His shoulders hanging slack, tears in his red eyes, nothing but sadness and confusion written on his face. "Nick..."

Nick shook his head, he straightened his blue Dalton hoodie and stepped outside his dorm, pulling the door close behind him. "Jeff, I love you." He began, shifting his gaze to the ground, or the wall, or anything to avoid Jeff's eyes. With his hands stuffed in his hoodie he took an unnecessarily deep breath. "But... but—"

"But what?" Jeff interrupted. He didn't needed Nick to say the words. He knew damn well which would follow. His stomach dropped and he was sure there were tears forming in his eyes. He could almost smell the next words. Five words.

_I _

"I-"

_can't _

"-can't-"

_do _

"-do-"

_this _

"-this-"

_anymore. _

"-anymore. I'm so sorry, Jeff."

Jeff had no idea what happened. It felt like his brain had shut down. He started crying, the cup of coffee slipped from his hand and dropped on the floor, his heart broke and he screamed. Not out loud, no, there was no sounds coming from his vocal chords, but from the inside he was screaming, screaming until his inner voice had no more strength to scream.

"Why?" He broke out, his vision couldn't focus anymore, there were too many tears. He felt two strong arms wrapping around him but they weren't his anymore. They belonged to Nick, and Nick wasn't his anymore.

_Nick wasn't his anymore. _

The boy broke out in sobs. With all the strength he had –which was far less than normal- he pulled out of Nick's grip and ran for it. He ran out of the hallway, down the stairs, past Hunter who yelled after him:

"_Jeff! What's the matter, bro?" _

He ran through the main entrance out in the open air, onto the Dalton grounds back to his safe place, behind the fountain, behind the trees in a corner that was his. _The only thing that was still his... _

Jeff collapsed on the ground and cried. His hands grabbed a tight hold of his chest, holding it as if it would stop the scattering sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

Jeff had never been heartbroken before, but now he knew exactly why.

_Nick wasn't his anymore. Because he broke his heart. _


	2. Chapter 2

_What's gonna kill you is the __**second**__ part._

* * *

It almost sounded rehearsed as the lockers slammed shut one after another. The members of the Dalton lacrosse team exited the damp air of the dressing room and traded it for the cold, winter air outside. They all left pretty quickly, leaving Jeff alone as he tied up his striped tie.

With Jeff there were two other students still in the room. One being the lacrosse team captain: Sebastian Smythe, _the_ Sebastian Smythe. The other one: just another member of the team.

Jeff tucked away his tie and straightened his pull-over as he got up from the bench. He turned to his locker and pulled out his jacket before he closed it. A small shiver ran down his spine from the cold flow of air that just entered the room.

While someone's singing voice came from the shower blocks, Jeff stuck his arms in the white sleeves of his navy blue varsity jacket, zipped it up and bowed down to grab his sports bag. Suddenly, his name fell.

"Jeffster. You doing ok, bro?"

The boy hadn't realized that the voice had stopped singing, nor that Sebastian was no longer in the showers. Instead, the tall brunet was looking at Jeff with that stupid smirk on his lips and his hands on the towel around his waist. The towel hung way too low on his hips, leaving pretty much _nothing_ to Jeff's imagination. Not that there was anything Jeff hadn't seen yet.

He had to admit: Sebastian was hot as hell. Probably hotter than 97 percent of the population of Dalton. _Except for Nick..._

Jeff shook his head, shaking his thoughts out of his brain. The movement caused the boy to drop his sports bag back onto the ground. He took a deep breath to calm himself. No need for breaking down now. With a sigh the boy leaned down again, this time to grab both his bag and his abandoned lacrosse stick.

No, Sebastian wasn't like that for Jeff. He was a friend. _Just_ a friend.

The boy had been Jeff's roommate for the first three months after he transferred to Dalton from France in their freshman year. It had been Hell living with Sebastian. The boy had a bitching attitude and an ego bigger than the dorm itself. Not to mention, Jeff had suffered for about two weeks of Sebastian bossing him around. Passing out orders to get him a baguette with salmon from the cafeteria, for example. For two whole weeks!

But something about those three months living with the manly version of Janice Dickinson made Jeff change his opinion on the boy. Yes, he was an asshole. Yes, he had less to no knowledge about the word 'consequences'. But Jeff learned that Sebastian was lonely and he was willing to be his friend for the time being.

The nature of that friendship changed throughout the years and now Jeff and Sebastian considered each other, not just friends, but brothers. Some may say that Sebastian was incapable of any form of a relationship with people, but Jeff was the one to objectify. Or maybe it was just his luck.

"I'm fine." Jeff held on tightly to the lacrosse stick and sighed again when he faced Sebastian. It was then that he realized the other boy had already moved towards his locker and was now dressing up in the school's uniform, quietly reassuming his one-man concert.

Somewhere in the dressing room the sound of another locker closing rang through the room, followed by the last student leaving the room. Leaving Jeff and Sebastian alone. The latter found this his cue to start a conversation while the first one was mapping out his escape route.

"You're not fine, Jeff."

Jeff noticed his friend not even glancing up at him or anything. It made him sigh for the millionth time. There was no way he was having this conversation now. Not when he was at the verge of tears because why the hell did everyone _had_ to remind him of Nick?! Wasn't it more than enough that they went to the same school, shared the same friends, and oh, that's right, everyone in the fucking school knew about it?

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Jeff had been avoiding Nick, or visa versa. Two weeks without actually knowing the reason for the break-up. It had been two weeks that Jeff would've wanted to spent in his bed, with overrated movies that were supposed to be romantic and somehow realistic, tons of ice cream and sad music. But what would life be if it wasn't a bitch?

The boy had no idea when the tears started spilling but when his gear collided with the ground Jeff realized that he had in fact broken down. He slide down against the lockers into a seating position and buried his face in his hands.

Soon he felt two arms pulling him into a embrace, one hand rubbing his back in a comfort gesture.

"I-I can't..." Jeff tried. He leaned closer to Sebastian in the embrace.

"It hurts!" The boy's voice skipped an octave as he blurred out those two words. It was the only way Jeff could explain this, it hurts like shit. He wanted it all to go away, all the memories, all the stories, all the rumors and mostly, all the things he was feeling at the moment. The pain in his heart hadn't left him since that day. He'd barely slept, eaten or as much tried to do any kind of activity until Sebastian decided it was enough and dragged him out of his dorm.

And even then, Jeff still had a hard time sitting through lunch breaks because he knew Nick wouldn't be sitting at the same table. Or attending Warbler practice, because he _had_ to face Nick. But worse than that was the moment coach told him and his team that "Nicholas has to quit playing soccer because his grades are suffering from it."

Load of bullshit! Nick had a perfect 4.0 GPA. Which he kept up without any kind of effort. He even took extra classes in Art History because Jeff thought he had too much free time on his hands.

It hurt Jeff more than he thought it ever could. He'd lost, not only his boyfriend, but also his best friend.

Jeff cried while Sebastian held him. Trying to calm the boy down by anything but talking to him, because that would only make things worse. They stayed in that same position for quite a long time.

The sky was dark when the boys finally left the dressing room. The ground was covered by a white blanket of snow that hadn't been there earlier, meaning they were in there for a long time. Sebastian grabbed his phone to see it was past seven and they had missed dinner.

"Sorry Seb." Jeff whispered as he rubbed his tired eyes, red from all the crying.

The older boy pocketed his phone and used his free arm to pull his friend closer by the shoulders. "Will you stop doing that?" He asked, not meeting Jeff's gaze.

"Stop what?"

Sebastian let out a chuckle. His feet plowing through the thick layer of snow. "Stop beating yourself up. The last thing you need to worry about right now is whether I get enough food or not."

This created a smile on Jeff's face and he shook his head softly. Both boys followed their path to the main building of the school. They passed the sports fields - that looked someone sprinkled white decoration powder on them -, pass the small Forrest that separated the school grounds from the sports fields, onto the huge ground that led towards the building that served as a home for about 300 students.

Jeff entered the school first, followed by Sebastian who wildly shook his head, trying to get ride of the white snowflakes in his brown hair. Jeff had to keep himself from laughing as the older boy looked at him, his hair completely messed up.

"I'll give it to you this time, blondie." Sebastian smirked and pulled out his wallet. "Coffee?"

Jeff shook his head, strapping his bag a little tighter. "Thanks but I'll pass. I'm pretty tired."

Sebastian gave him friend a knowing smile and nodded for him to go. "I'll talk to you later then."

With a quick wave, Jeff was on his way. He climbed the stairs, following their lead to the second floor. His bag had become heavy and so he swung it over his other shoulder, dropping his lacrosse stick in the movement. "'Course Jeff." He let out a sigh and kneeled down to grab his stick when suddenly, two black shoes stepped into his view.

Jeff's head shot up and as his eyes calculated the pixels to form a picture he felt his throat getting dry and rusty. Right there was Nick standing. Looking down on him with blank eyes and expressionless features. Neither boys spoke for what felt like eternity. Until Nick kneeled down and grabbed the other boy's lacrosse stick.

They both rose at the same time, Nick giving Jeff his stick back with the same non-speaking eyes. It gave Jeff a strange feeling, something that felt different from what he had felt those past two weeks. It was something that was much heavier, coming from a much deeper place, but it didn't hurt like it should. It felt much worse than hurt. Regret? Disappointment? Jeff had no idea as what he could interpreter it.

"Jeff." Nick finally spoke, but even his voice sounded emotionless. Like the Tin-man from The Wizard of Oz. The one who couldn't feel anything.

Jeff wasn't sure what to say. Nick wouldn't continue whatever he had to say but what was there to talk about? Then it hit Jeff.

"What are we?"

It sounded like a strange question, and reading from Nick's frown, it was. But Jeff needed to know. It was the only thing that mattered to him at the moment. He couldn't care less about the reason for the break-up. He just wanted to know where he and Nick were standing. He wanted to know if he had lost his best-friend for good.

"W-what do you mean?" Nick shot the boy a questioning look, clearly not understanding the meaning of the words.

Jeff knew this was hopeless. The feeling deep down growing stronger and stronger with the seconds ticking by. This wasn't his Nick anymore and Jeff was about 90 percent sure that this Nick was nothing from Jeff. Not even a friend.

"What are we, Nick? What is this—" Jeff pointed between the two of them. Ironically, that's one of the questions Jeff had been asking himself a lot before the boys started dating. "—thing between us? What is still left of us?"

Jeff was positive there were tears welling up in his eyes again. He felt the burning in his eyes and that stupid non-explainable feeling getting worse.

Nick shook his head, but when he finally stopped he looked at the ground. A way to avoid letting the other boy getting a clear view of his eyes. It hurt Jeff, to know that Nick wouldn't let him see what he was feeling. Then Nick spoke, and Jeff had rather he didn't.

"There's no us anymore, Jeff." Jeff began to shook his head frantically. He didn't need to hear more of this. "There's just Nick and Jeff." Nick's voice sounded desperately, something Jeff should've noticed but he didn't want hear more of Nick's words.

"But we have a friendship, Jeff, and that's never going away. If you would just give me a _chance_—" and that's when Jeff cracked. Better said, that's when that feeling cracked. Jeff, suddenly realized what it was. It wasn't hurt, nor disappointment or regret. It was betrayal. Jeff felt betrayed by his best – _former_ best friend.

Jeff didn't care about the tears that ran down his face. He didn't care about Nick's worried face either. When he spoke, betrayal covered his voice, just like it'd covered his entire being.

"A chance? A fucking chance?! After two weeks of ignoring me, avoiding me, acting like I'm not existing anymore, you still want a fucking _chance_? You know what I want, Nick? I want you!

And hey, news flash, apparently I can't have you. So put that chance where the goddamn sun doesn't shine and leave me the fuck alone!"

Nick was taken aback, Jeff noticed. But Jeff had no idea what just come over him. He thought the first part, the heart-break, was the worst that could hit him. He was wrong, Jeff felt like everything he'd worked for in the past four years was gone. As if someone dimmed his light and he can't find the switch anymore.

He didn't wanted Nick to leave him alone. That boy was supposed to be in his life for how long life would give him.

Betrayal sucked, and Jeff knew it the moment he pushed past Nick and ran for his dorm. He knew that was the last moment he would ever see Nick as the boy he'd met the second day of freshman year. The boy who Jeff was supposed to spent his life with. _Until death do us part._

Well, apparently that's what dying felt like for Jeff.


	3. Chapter 3

Yes, you're allowed to hate me.

A happy ending is still very far away, but at least the worst has been and gone (or has it?). Anyway, we're halfway through this story and I just want to thank you all for reading this. Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites! I know you'll hear this a lot but the best thing a writer can receive is feedback, either positive or negative.

I know I can't beat stories like Dalton or Psyche but it's good to know that I have readers out there who like this heartbreaking story. (sadistic people... Just kidding! Look who's talking *cough*). Anyhow, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you guys as much as Jeff loves Nick (and we all know how much that is). Now, hold your tissues close and enjoy.

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_And the **third,** is when your world splits down the middle._

* * *

Counting all the days together it'd been a little over four months since Nick and Jeff had last spoken. Finals were coming, and so was graduation. For Jeff though, graduation was the last things his mind could think of.

Jeff had changed drastically. The once bright and up living boy that could light up the mood of an entire class of hangover boys by just one smile, was no more there. He, instead, turned into a grey mouse. Ghosting through the halls of Dalton in the hope he wouldn't catch anyone's attention.

The last time he'd seen Nick was the moment he learned why his heart had broken when Nick ended their relationship. The boy had seen Nick around, in class, in the hallway, during Warbler practice and even in the kitchen during after hours, stealing some snacks like the couple always used to do. The question to be asked was, had Nick seen him around?

Jeff hadn't.

It hurt, looking in the mirror that is. Jeff seeing his reflection staring back at him through the glass, judging his every move. It looked like that boy, the one on the other side of the mirror, reflected every single thing Jeff felt inside. His composter showed pain and regret. His appearance screamed lack of caring. Not to mention what his eyes showed.

_I miss him._

The boy tore his gaze away from the circular mirror, feeling tears welling up in his already red, puffy eyes. With his left hand he furiously rubbed the fallen tears from his face while he sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

_I want him back._

There was a sob climbing up his vocal chords, but Jeff refused to let it out. He refused to let himself hear he was hurting, to let himself feel in how much pain he was. Everyone had been allowed to see it – Anyone that took just one simple look at Jeff could clearly see what was wrong with the young Warbler. –, as long as Jeff himself wasn't included in everyone.

A knock on the door echoed through the messy dorm. The boy didn't move, not an inch. There followed another knock, and another but Jeff stayed perfectly still, almost like a statue. The knocking stopped and relieve filled Jeff's mind.

Until, suddenly, a loud crack rang through the room. The door had been forced. Jeff knew exactly who was standing in his room right now. He quickly moved up from the bathtub and reached for the door handle to close his bathroom door, but too little too late. With his hand on the door handle, Jeff was looking at a worried face that he knew all too well.

"The Hell, Jeff?" The boy loosened his grip on the door handle and turned his back towards his friend. Not that it'd matter. As soon as he did he felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder. The boy's lips twisted into a pained smile but he did not move. Neither did the other boy.

"Jeff?"

Jeff did not respond. Somewhere between "J" and "ff" he had zoned out, gaze focused on something behind the small yellow tinted window of the bathroom. The other boy moved around Jeff to see what was going on with his friend. When he followed Jeff's gaze he didn't need to ask. He grabbed Jeff's hand and pulled him out of the bathroom. "C'mon."

Silent tears ran down Jeff's face while his friend sat him down on his bed – What was left of it with all the clothes and books scattered on it -, sitting down next to Jeff.

"You thought you were the only one?" Jeff had been staring at his hands, seeming very interesting in his life lines that he couldn't even read, but he quickly glanced up. Needless to say, he looked like a kicked puppy, maybe even worse.

"Is that why you're here, Trent?" The other boy shook his head, pulling Jeff into a sideways hug.

"No. I'm here because I care." Jeff had to stop himself from laughing. It wasn't because Trent didn't cared. Trent was one of Jeff's closest friends, but there was more behind this invasion. The silence spoke more than Jeff could and not a minute later he felt Trent taking a deep breath. "Fine! Hunter sent me but that's not the point. I do care, you know?"

Jeff looked up and received a stern glare from his friend. "And as your friend, it's my duty to say that you look like Hell."

With a swift movement, Jeff sat up, fixing the hood of his red Dalton hoodie over his hair. Both hands were used to rub away the tears, and Jeff dried them with the cotton fabric of a piece of bed sheets that stuck out from under the mess. "Should I ask why he sent you and not Bas?"

His question was ignored when Trent took his face in his hands, taking a good look at Jeff. It didn't work when Jeff swatted Trent's hands away. "Will you let go of me, please?"

The boy dropped his hands but he kept staring at Jeff, this time with a judging look rather than worried. "I hate you."

Jeff opened his mouth but there was no way he could've replied faster than Trent continued. The boy jumped onto his feet, moved over towards the windows and pulled the closed curtains wide open, blinding Jeff with the sunlight.

"You've been hiding your ass in this dorm for weeks. You're like a ghost Jeff. It's unhealthy."

The person in question let himself fall backwards on a pile of books and a few T-shirts, muttering the following words: "Here we go." Although, he immediately closed his mouth when he saw Trent had turned around and was glaring at him.

"LOOK!" Trent dramatically pointed towards the window. "It's almost summer and you're locked away in your room wearing that awful hoodie – where did you even get that? – Instead of running around outside in your shorts like you're supposed to do. Like you always do!"

To put more dramatic effect in his rant, Trent sighed deeply. He pulled his friend back up into seating position. "At least take Nick's lead and search for a bench outside to cry on instead of being utterly dramatic in this Hell hole."

Deep inside Jeff knew Trent didn't meant to say that. Or to say it the way he just did. But those words hit the wrong string in Jeff's mind. He was on his feet instantly.

Jeff also knew, that Trent knew he didn't meant to execute the following movement. But Jeff did and as soon as anger came, anger went and left shock in its place.

Trent's hand covered his eye, mouth hanging wide open. Jeff's eyes grew huge when he realized what he just did, his raised hand lowering ever so slowly, his other hand covering his mouth.

"Oh my god." A whisper broke the ever so tense silence, as if someone pressed 'play' instead of 'pause'. "I'm so sorry, Trent. I didn't meant to, I'm so sorry."

The boy launched forward to his friend, trying to lift his hand from his eye to examine the damage, but Trent wouldn't have it. With more force than needed he pushed Jeff away from him, shaking his head. "Leave it, Jeff."

He turned away from Jeff, leaving the dorm with the door closing forcefully behind him. Leaving Jeff alone, again.

Distress. That's what Jeff felt. He just punched one of his best friends.

With his hands hanging next to his sides, Jeff stood lifelessly in the middle of his room. The bright sun burning on his back, quickly becoming unbearable. Jeff felt a tear slip down his cheek, falling onto the ground. Another one, and another and soon Jeff broke down in endless sobs, sliding down to the ground.

He fucked it up, big time. First his boyfriend, now his friend… Soon there wouldn't be anyone left in his life. That thought just brought more sadness to Jeff as he realized the damage he brought into the situation.

When they graduate next month, who will still be here for Jeff? Who would still be there to hold together his broken world?

Jeff couldn't answer that question. Not in the way he wanted to at least.


	4. Chapter 4

Well, I have to apologize for the wait and explain that I've rewritten more than three quarters of this chapter because it wasn't going were I wanted it to go. So, because I didn't want to waste about 1,500 words I started to procrastinate and you all know how that goes, but I got around and finally did it, and I'm happy that I did it because I'm really content with the result. I would have never forgiven myself if I'd kept it the way it was. Now I'm talking too much nonsense again, sorry.

**WARNING:** You may or may not have noticed that the rating of this story has been raised to M. Do I still need to explain why?

Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

_**Fourth**__, you gonna think that you fixed yourself._

* * *

_"Nick..." Jeff moaned desperately. His hands reached for the soft fabric of his bed sheets, clinging onto them as if life depended on it. Another moan escaped his vocal chords when his boyfriend laughed softly, the vibrations going straight to his cock. The boy closed his eyes tightly when he felt Nick's tongue licking from base to tip and again - Nick was too skilled in Jeff's opinion. _

_"Oh, Nick. Fuck..."_

_Nick's hand that dug into Jeff's hips held him from moving his hips upward, thrusting into Nick's mouth. Nick had the upper hand, obviously, and Jeff hated as much as loved every second of his. Another moan left his mouth when Nick took him all in - the bastard without a gag reflex - and Jeff came before he even had a chance to warn Nick. Who, without complaining, sucked all the juice from Jeff's cock. With one last teasing lick, Nick climbed back up, coming face to face with Jeff._

_"I hate you." Jeff whispered while he pressed their lips together in a messy kiss, ignoring the massive smirk plastered on Nick's face._

"Jeffery!" The sound of curtains being pulled open woke Jeff from his dream - more like nightmare if Jeff had said it. - Jeff picked up a pillow, keeping his eyes closed, launched it in the general direction of his window and turned around, moaning into his pillow. Something that sounded like a muffled version of: "Fuck off." He tried his very best to ignore the problem of his straining dick against the mattress. _Dead puppies, Jeff, grandma in a thong, whatever else works._

"But Jeff, why so rude? Did I walk in on the wrong moment? You could've just sai-" whatever more there would've been said wouldn't be heard as Jeff interrupted.

"If you don't fuck off in now and two seconds I'll use my bare hands to strangle that pretty little neck of yours."

"Jeffery Samuel Sterling!" He heard his mother shout.

The boy sighed and lifted his head from the pillow just in time to see his little sister walk out of the room and closing his door. Hearing her mischievous laughter coming from the hallway. _Bitch._ His mother that stood yelling down the stairs moved back into the kitchen, if Jeff heard correctly.

He placed his head back on the pillow sighing extremely loud, muttering: "Fucking dream." before he got up and moved towards his fancy, big enough for five, bathroom.

•••

It was five in the afternoon when Jeff left his elderly house. A bright sun shone and a soft breeze blew through Jeff's hair. It was a very lovely day, especially for mid-October.

The leaves cracked and broke under the black biker boots that Jeff wore. It was a welcoming sound, next to the soft background music coming from the earphones in Jeff's ears.

The boy followed his path to the bus station a few blocks from their house, he didn't bother to take his car knowing by the end of this day he'd be wasted as they come and he couldn't drive himself home.

Warbler party. The seniors had decided it was a suitable idea to invite the graduated Warblers, including Wes - Of course Wes wouldn't be left out. - who was now in his second year of Law studies at Harvard.

Jeff was looking forward to see everybody again. Ever since his first semester started at Juliard Jeff had barely time to breathe, let alone visit his friends. - He'd spoken to Sebastian a few times on the phone, and once to Trent because one does not dare to ignore Trent when he calls you.

Trent and Jeff had spoken about their little affair about a week after it happened. Trent had said that he understood why Jeff did it, and he knew he had gone too far. Jeff agreed to the fact that he needed to get over himself and Trent promised he would try to help as much as possible. -

The ex-Warbler reached the bus station fairly quickly and before he knew it the all too familiar, prestige gates of Dalton Academy welcomed him back to the place that served as Jeff's home for the last four years of his life.

The warm atmosphere that the school building held immediately created a smile on Jeff's face. As much as he loathed those last months in this school, he had many good memories that would stay with him forever.

Jeff followed the halls blindly, descending the massive staircase before rounding the corner into the hall where at least half of the Warblers' performance had been held. Better known as the Warbler Hall. His feet knew the way and led Jeff while he greeted a small group of junior Warblers that had gathered outside the senior common room. Jeff noticed the not so well hidden bottles of Jack and Vodka – Let the Dean catch them with it and they'll all be expelled for as long as the semester lasts. At least in Jeff's years they knew how to smuggle and keep the alcohol from getting busted.

The boy entered the common room and was met with the loud music, blasting through any conversation that was held. He immediately caught a blink of his best friend.

In the corner, with none less than Hunter, Sebastian sat on one of the big, leather couches. It was a sight that surprised Jeff, more because the two weren't attached by the lip, yet. It didn't take long before the former Captain of the Warblers noticed Jeff standing in the door way and he waved for him to join them. Jeff obeyed, but not before he felt an arm slung over his shoulder and was handed a cup of something strong smelling from Thad – Having been to as many Warbler parties as Jeff had it was common knowledge that Thad had been mixing up the drinks, and Jeff knew he'd right now handed over a classic 'Adios Motherfucker'.

Jeff had to move his head so his eardrum wouldn't get torn from Thad yelling next to him, trying to reach over the noise of the sound system. "Hey guys! Jeffster in da house! Whoo!"

Yes, this was going to be a great night.

•••

It could be said that Jeff was fairly enjoying himself tonight. He'd participated in an old school game of Truth or Dare and even went along with a childish game of Fifteen Minutes in Heaven, which Sebastian - of course, _who_ else? - came up with. The boy reminded himself that there were moments in his life were he could just have fun. He danced like there was no tomorrow, drank quite a large amount of alcohol and may have said some harmless but embarrassing things in the process. But he was enjoying himself, and that's more than Jeff could ask for the night.

With yet another bottle of beer in his hands, Jeff giggled at some bad joke Thad cracked. He was propped up against a cupboard to keep him from struggling with gravity. "That's hilarious!" the blond boy shouted, due excitement or alcohol, actually no one could be bothered to care anymore. Jeff was just an exaggerated version of himself when he was drunk. Bouncy, giggly and loud.

Thad giggled along, resting his head on Jeff's shoulder after he downed the last of his beer. Thad being the clingy drunk. The boys observed the room, randomly commenting on situations that caught their judging eye. Like, Hunter and Sebastian in the corner of the room, where they thought no one could see them, having a hot make-out session. Or Wes who, normally being so static and serious, stood on top of a table, glass of Vodka in his hand and microphone in the other, rapping along to some Eminem song. Jeff wasn't sure if it was Mockingbird or When I'm Gone. The music started to blur together into one big mess after his fifth glass of alcohol.

"'Ya know," Jeff slurred, nudging in Thad's side, asking for his attention. The latter rolled his eyes up, too wasted to make any more effort to lift his head. "I'm glad we're all getting out of this place."

Thad cracked a smile and rolled his eyes back to focus on Wes, patting Jeff's leg with one hand. "I'm feeling 'ya, Jeffy."

From the corner of his eye, Jeff caught a glimpse of what seemed like Nick making his way towards the two boys. Instead of Thad staying in place like Jeff wished so badly he did, he climbed up on to two feet, raising his glass. "Need another?" he questioned Jeff, who's attention was divided in watching Nick and answering Thad with a vaguely nodding gesture. And then Thad's gone, and Nick's standing in front of him, towering over Jeff - for once in his life -, with a slight smile.

"Hi, Jeff." And suddenly, Nick had traded places with Thad. He sat down next to Jeff in Thad's place, not being so careful to keep any distance between them. Instead, Nick wraps an arm around Jeff's shoulder, squeezing him softly, as if he were reassuring Jeff that this was just a throwback at their long forgotten friendship. Jeff feels himself relax unwillingly. His mind is registering a change in the music. A deep bass flows throughout the room, shaking the wooden floors. Normally, Jeff had gotten up without any excuse and mingled himself in the crowd, most likely taken the spotlight with his dance moves, but right now he's too busy staring at Nick, trying to crack his brain on what to do. Stay seated or run like hell? His mind told him to run, but his heart disagreed and apparently, seemed to have the upper hand in the argument.

So, Jeff just leaned his head back against the cupboard, letting himself relax and downed the leftover liquid from the bottle in his hands, waiting for Nick to start a conversation, or not. He wasn't sure whether he wanted them to talk or just have them cling on the past a little longer.

Nick seemed to already have made a choice; He kept quiet, and Jeff took the opportunity to steal a glance at the boy – man. Jeff sighed; Nick was growing up too fast. He'd always had been the mature type of person – It had Jeff wondering for quite a long time how he was the one who came up with the master pranks the duo would perform -, but the nineteen-year-old looked all but a teenager. His long bangs had been cut and instead of the dark locks falling down his face, his hair was standing up now. The stubble on his chin appeared, probably because he's too busy to shave. His posture, although now relaxed, got rougher. His shoulders seemed to be squarer and he'd obviously been working, noticing the biceps.

Jeff had to stop himself there before he would start to imagine how those new and improved arms would feel around his naked chest.

Nick seemed to feel Jeff's eyes burning in his back and he turned his face to look at Jeff. There was no sign of anger, or disgust, or anything from that row, in his eyes. Just a content look mixed with drunkenness. He gave Jeff a smile, his eyes crinkling slightly in the corners, and Jeff could do nothing but to automatically respond with a smile.

"Hey." Nick pressed.

"Hey." Jeff replied, not turning away from the look that seemed to intensify the longer they kept staring at each other.

It seemed too good to be true, this moment. And Jeff soon found out why. He didn't notice right away but Nick was edging closer, eyes still locked with Jeff's. Because neither broke the intense stare, Jeff only realized last minute that the warm feeling on his lips wasn't because he was biting down. Nick pressed his lips softly, but demandingly, against Jeff's.

Jeff was stunned. Or better said, Jeff's _mind_ was stunned, because his body seemed to react in the way it thought was natural and kissed Nick back. He felt Nick's arm, still draped over his shoulder, pulling him closer and his hand feeling the ends of the locks in his neck, pulling softly to make Jeff gasps. Nick took advantage of the opportunity and slipped his tongue inside Jeff's mouth, mapping out the familiar, and in some ways also unfamiliar, space.

Jeff's mind was screaming at him, cursing his weak heart and weak self-defense. Especially when Nick's free hand reached for Jeff's hip, circling over the elastic band of Jeff's boxers and slipping under Jeff's shirt. The sudden cold hand drawing an unexpected moan from Jeff, who wrapped his arms around Nick's neck, clinging onto the moment.

Nick pushed him back against the cupboard softly, and it was only when he placed himself on top of Jeff, straddling his hip, that Jeff's mind won the fight and kick started his senses back in motion. Jeff unlinked his hands and pushed Nick away, keeping his hands on the other boy's chest. Nick looked startled and confused before he frowned down at Jeff, who looked as guilty as they come.

"N-Nick," he stuttered, _Nice Jeff, way to start an argument. _"You're drunk, Nick. Please."

Nick still frowned at Jeff, but there was a faint hint of a smile playing on his lips and suddenly he broke out into a grin, surging forward to kiss Jeff again. For a moment, Jeff seemed to allow the kiss but he pushed Nick out of his personal space again with his mind, furiously shouting at him to get his fucking shit together.

"Nick stop!" he started again, this time more determined. "Stop please."

Jeff was sobering up in record time. He shook his head and watched Nick's eyes carefully, seeing he wasn't getting the clue just yet. "You're going to regret it if you don't stop now, Nick." And suddenly it landed with Nick.

Jeff saw the clarification in Nick's eyes and the other turned his head away from Jeff's intense gaze. There appeared a sad smile on Nick's face and he climbed off of Jeff, muttering a heartfelt excuse and disappearing from Jeff's view before Jeff could do anything. That was the last Jeff had seen from Nick that night.

It hurt Jeff, to know that Nick was once again avoiding him. Just when the night had gone so well, without any_ complications_.

Jeff had sought for Sebastian, not caring to explain the other what was wrong but the look on his face alone was enough information that Jeff needed a distraction. So Sebastian got him one. Together with Thad who they'd pulled from the bar, they got Jeff in the middle of the dance floor, in the place he belongs.

With the help of another handful of drinks, they still managed Jeff to enjoy the rest of the night. Without the complications that were forgotten, just for now. No doubt that when Jeff wakes up the next morning the events with Nick will be burned on his mind, and he'd hate himself, he would dwell in pity and tell himself that he's an idiot and he should've never gone to that party. But for now, the distraction is enough. It's enough for Jeff to feel like he'd fixed himself, even when it's only a temporary thought.


	5. Chapter 5

_Do you guys realize that there's only one more chapter left? Because I don't. Not yet at least. _

ANYWAYS. Hi, there again.

I'm just here to thank everyone for reviewing and following and everything. Seriously, have some cookies because you are all a bunch of awesome lads. That's all, the important notes are at the end of the chapter. Now enjoy!

* * *

_**Fifth**__, you see them out with someone else._

* * *

Jumping from one foot onto another, Jeff shook his limbs, loosen them from the stress that's been reaching up his back. He was nervous – Understatement of the year? Yes. Jeff was freaking out, to say at least, and it showed. Several classmates that had passed glanced in Jeff's direction rather worriedly, or they would ask Jeff if he needed another bottle of water since the one the last person had given him was already empty. Eventually, they'd given up and left Jeff to deal with his own mind.

Jeff stopped jumping, moving to grab his backpack and frantically began searching for his iPod that had to be- "somewhere in here, damn it. No, no, no. Where is it?"

The boy only stopped cursing his bag when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He wiped around, almost losing balance as he did so, and came face to face with a petite blonde girl. A junior who Jeff shared Advanced Choreographing with. She was very pretty, with big grey eyes and a bright smile that was contagious. If Jeff weren't gay, he would definitely date her.

The girl gave Jeff a worried smile, holding up something that looked an awful lot like Jeff's iPod with his blue ear buds dangling from her hand. "You left it in the dinning hall when you stormed out." Jeff let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and thanked her with his eyes as he grabbed the iPod and plugged the ear buds in his ears.

"Are- are you ok, Jeffery? You look extremely stressed." Jeff shot her a knowing, yet shaky, smile.

"I might be a bit nervous. That's a big audience out there. Have you seen it? There are so many people there. And my friends are here tonight. They have never seen me do this before, I mean they have seen me dance - of course they have, we all were in the same show choir group but this is different and…" Jeff stopped himself from babbling anymore - even his voice sounded shaky, damn -, taking a deep breath like he was exhausted from a jog or something. "Sorry." And he bit his lip.

The girl smiled her bright smile and rubbed Jeff's arm in a comforting gesture. "It's ok. We all have our moments when important people are involved but there's nothing to worry about Jeff. You're one of the best dancers I've met ever since I got accepted in this school, and that says a lot." Jeff nodded gratefully and thanked her quickly with a hug before she went off into the direction of the dressing room.

That's when the microphone turned on and the voice of the headmaster sounded throughout the theatre. _"Evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the annual Summer Showcase—" _

Jeff squealed and dropped his iPod in his bag, running through the hall to meet up with the rest of his year backstage. "You ok, Jeff?" Another of his classmates asked, having Jeff's heavy breathing in his ear. Jeff nodded and shook his head quickly to get his thoughts together, mentally going through every move he'd have to perform in less than a minute.

"_Up first we have the freshmen with their rendition of Cry Me A River, originally performed by Justin Timberlake. Give them a warm applause."_

Jeff almost ran a hand through his hair before he reminded himself that there was a black hat on his head. He took another deep breath, following the group on stage. He took his position, lead of course, in the middle of the group, right there for the whole audience to see him. The lights went out and the curtains opened and suddenly there was a big applause and bright lights hurting his eyes.

He took a quick look in the audience and saw that indeed, all his friends had shown up. There was Sebastian with Hunter, Thad, Trent, Wes and David. Even Blaine was there whom he hadn't seen in ages and, _wow_; he forgot that he had invited Nick. _Who was sitting next to him, though? Were they- they were holding hands- wait what?_

And suddenly, from the back of the theatre, where the instruments were installed, the music started, startling Jeff. _FOCUS JEFF! Ok, left foot in front, right side on ninety degrees and freeze. Don't you dare mess this thing up now!_ Inwardly, Jeff scowled at himself and tried very hard to get his mind back to dancing instead of who the Hell it even was there, sitting next to Nick. _JEFFREY!_

It seemed like an eternity for Jeff, but it was only two seconds of brain-crashing thoughts. And then he started moving.

This was one of those moments when Jeff was extremely grateful that dancing was a skill flowing through his veins like blood. He knew that dancing didn't required thinking; it was all about the feeling. It came from inside and that's where Jeff was searching it right now. In some strange way, he'd blocked his mind and let his body take over. And did his body do a damn good job right now. Jeff couldn't help the small, proud smile creeping on his lips when he nailed move after move and allowed himself to look into the crowd, channeling the reactions of his friends – carefully avoiding Nick at all cause.

The performance was over too soon and by the time the group left stage after the grand applause, Jeff was jumping on his feet again. This time not due nerves but because he had too much adrenaline pumping through his veins, and he needed a let out. Too bad he wasn't getting any for the next half hour. He performed the closing number with a selected group of dancers from all four years and after a speech from their professors they were let loose and Jeff left for the dressing room to get changed and gather his things before he went to look up his old Warbler-friends.

Jeff met them outside the theatre, not missing the obnoxiously loud group of boys standing in front of the entrance, blocking everybody's path.

Typical Warbler behavior.

He greeted them with a smile and a hug and only stopped to shake Nick's hand. Awkward. After everyone had said and shared their opinion on how brilliant Jeff's performances were they went to a Starbucks, just a block away, where he was introduced to Nick's _boyfriend_ – Cue vomiting noises, general sickness and a sudden case of migraine.

The word alone made Jeff choke on his coffee, but the fact that Timothy - _Who calls their kid Timothy?!_ – was tall, tan, a sports fan because he apparently got a football scholarship – _Who gives a fuck? _-, had a rare case of bright blue eyes, beautiful dark hair – _With too much gel in it. Gross_. _-_, and wore clothes too tight for his muscles – _Not that he had any. Like, biceps don't count. Anyone can train those. Neither do broad shoulders! _– was what made Jeff's stomach drop.

Needless to say, Jeff spent the entire time sulking and throwing unheard curses at Timothy whenever he brought his cup to his lips.

_Stupid Timothy. _

Jeff did not realize that while he casted his eyes down to the table to avoid seeing Timothy grabbing Nick's hand, Nick eyed him suspiciously.

And it was only after about fifty minutes in when the two shared a quick kiss that Jeff excused himself and all but ran to the restroom where he let all his frustration out in tears. He ended up on the floor, behind the door, with his head in his hands, crying until his eyes burned. It was no case of overreacting, Jeff was genuinely pained. His chest ached, his head hurt and his eyes burned from the tears. He couldn't understand how Nick could just sit there with his hand clasped in Timothy's, sharing kisses, looking so _in love_ while Jeff was no more than two feet away, able to see everything.

It stayed quiet for a long time outside. Jeff was both grateful and hurt, - Even his friends didn't care to come and see if he was ok, or not -. The boy let out a desperate sob, clutching his chest on the place where his heart should be. Suddenly, he was launched forward as the door towards the restroom flung open with pure violence. Jeff scrambled to his feet, coming face to face with a flushed looking Blaine.

Blaine? Right, Dalton Fight Club.

"Jesus!" he called out, catching his breath, like he'd just ran a marathon or something.

"Where?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow, shooting Jeff his most impressive "bitch please"-look, making Jeff look down and mutter an apology in return. At the moment he felt kind of intimidated by the smaller boy. He heard a sigh and suddenly felt Blaine's arms around him, giving him a tight hug. "Jeff, are you alright? I mean, of course you're not, and I understand why you're not but you literally just fled and it made kind of a scene."

Jeff looked up – More like he raised his head and shot his eyes down because Blaine was just so tiny. He had the same problem with Nick. Like, why were they so little? It made Jeff feel like a giant, and he was _only_ six feet. – and frowned at that last comment. His exit wasn't that dramatic, was it? "What do you mean? Made a scene how?" he sounded more offended than he wanted to but it didn't seem like Blaine had picked up that part as he started explaining, stepping back out of Jeff's personal space.

"Well, after you ran off, Nick sort of launched out of his seat, ready to go after you but Timothy stopped him, and they started arguing and somewhere in that argument Sebastian said something about if Nick wanted go after you he should be able to do so and then Timothy got angry," Blaine's eyes grew a little wider, making sure his point was clear. "Not _just_ angry, but he just irately shoved Nick back into his seat and then he started shouting at Sebastian about minding his own business, and then he punched Sebastian in the face..."

Jeff gasped about the mention of his best friend getting punched by that asshole. – _See! He wasn't so perfect after all. Victory!_ – He ran a hand through his hair, eyes passing Blaine to look out the doorway, trying to get a glimpse of the coffee shop.

"They went outside – well we got kicked out because they were causing too much noise." Blaine shrugged, keeping a careful eye on Jeff who looked like he could make a run for it any second.

"Well, why are we still in here, then?!" Jeff shouted, marching for the door only to be blocked by Blaine. "No, you aren't going anywhere. Hunter must have already beaten the shit out of him for all of us, he doesn't need your opinion too." Jeff almost pouted but he stopped himself before his vicious mind could take over and slipped pass Blaine outside. "Jeff!"

•••

With many warnings thrown at his head from Blaine, Jeff made it outside fairly quickly. He stopped only when he met up with the ex-Warblers in the parking lot. There he noticed that Timothy wasn't there, and neither was Nick.

It stayed quiet for a long time. Several minutes of awkward silence passed by where everyone looked at each other and avoided each other's glances. Until Hunter spoke up, "Nick needs to find himself a proper boyfriend next time."

And that stung. Jeff squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to get over himself desperately. When he opened his eyes everyone was looking at him and Jeff had to keep himself from shooting the first snarky comment that came into mind.

"What?" he instead questioned, looking away from the piercing glances. Nobody answered. It didn't surprise Jeff that when they went back to the theatre to retreat their vehicles, everybody acted like nothing had happened at all. It's what they did best, and Jeff hated it right now. He wanted to scream at each and everyone of them. Asking what the Hell went through their minds when Nick brought along his boyfriend. But now he couldn't and it irritated him.

So, when Sebastian offered to bring him back to his apartment, he declined. He thanked them for showing up and enjoying the showcase and did not spoke about the coffee shop. Jeff watched them leave until he stood on the sidewalk alone. Again.

After ten minutes, Jeff let out a frustrated groan, dropped his backpack on the ground and dropped onto the ground after, his butt landing with a loud thud on the pavement. Jeff winced at the contact but ignored the further pain. He stared at the canal on the other side of the road, watching a total of three small boats passing by. His mind ran in overdrive but Jeff didn't try to keep up, he just let it happen. Separating his mind from his body, just as he did when dancing.

A strong but warm wind blew through the air, having a calming effect on Jeff as he just stared, doing nothing more than that.

"_Nick needs to find himself a proper boyfriend next time." _Echoed in his ears.

_Next time._

Somehow it hadn't struck Jeff's mind before that after almost a year and a half he still hadn't let go of Nick. He thought he did. Hell, he almost never thought about him anymore, but the whole ordeal with Timothy just told Jeff that he was still clinging onto that tiny bit of hope that Nick would come back to him.

The sudden sound of hysterical laughter startled Jeff. Especially when he realized it was his laughter that roared against the night sky.

He shook his head, climbing back onto his feet and brushing off his jeans. He grabbed his bag and ignored the sound of his phone beeping to announce incoming text messages. Jeff raised his head to the sky, taking a deep breath before he looked down again, feeling tears flow down his face.

_God damn it, _did he miss Nick, _his Nick._

Jeff walked home, refusing to think more than was necessary and especially ignoring the burning thought in the back of his head that he, some day, needed to share Nick with someone else.

_Sharing._ That's what Jeff called it. Because even after more than eighteen months he still wasn't going to give Nick up. Not yet.

* * *

OK, this is for the curious ones:

The performance from Jeff is actually based on a real choreography and if you want to see it go and youtube and enter this in the search box: " Cry Me A River (DrDr Cover) by Anthony Lee" the first result should be just fine.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and until next time!


	6. Chapter 6

_I have to apologize for the long wait. This chapter was a beast to write. Aren't endings always hard? Just nod so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself here, kay? Now, this is the part where I thank you all for joining me on this journey and staying with me in good and bad times - More like bad times, because last I checked there wasn't as much as a "good" moment in this story. -, and I really hope you all liked this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. _

_(Yes, expect people to enjoy this when all you've made them do is cry, keep on dreaming. _I need to stop talking to myself...)

_So without further nonsense, I present you the last chapter of Six Degrees of Separation. Enjoy._

* * *

_And __**sixth**__, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little._

* * *

It happens three months after the Summer Showcase when Jeff settles in his warm and cozy bed for the night with a good old marathon of Game of Thrones. He's got a large bowl of popcorn in his lap and a large travelling cup of diet coke – He's got to think about his health, sort of -, he lost the remote somewhere under his sheets and isn't bothered to go and search for it. All the lights in his room are turned off and apart the television flashing angrily in Jeff's tired eyes, the only light in the room comes from a streetlight just below Jeff's window. It's a good evening. Jeff is sad that summer is almost over and gets even sadder when he thinks about leaving his dance class.

Jeff had offered to help the local dance studio around the corner. The Beginners' teacher broke his leg two weeks into summer and Jeff figured he might as well do something useful instead of spending three to nine hours a day sitting on his laptop and only moving his ass if he needed a refill. It turned out to be one of the best decisions Jeff ever made. He adored the kids and they seemed to never want to let Jeff go again. But with classes, Jeff has no time to take up the dance class. Also, their original teacher must want his job back too. Jeff has been holding it out for too long, anyways.

The boy contently chews on a mouthful of popcorn, muttering something along the lines of "Bloody Lanisters." to the television. His mind actually focused on the TV-show, something that was rare these days.

It took him a while, but Jeff realized he has this personality trait; whenever something bad happens, Jeff's mind lingers on that accident for weeks and weeks after it happened. With this new knowledge Jeff can finally blame the entire Nick-"situation" on that one personality trait. It's not his fault that it took his brain a month to actually process the whole ordeal, and another to get over it. It took the third month for Jeff to actually understand that he was just an idiot and needed to get over himself. That was the month he's in right now. Still, slowly, processing that he needed to get over Nick and move on.

The truth was; Jeff refused to. He refused to let Nick go, only thinking about that thought made Jeff completely miserable. There was a tiny spark of hope tucked away deep in mind that Jeff trusted on. The idea of Nick coming back to him in the end.

His phone rang.

Jeff leaned over to his bedside table to grab his phone and picked up with his eyes focused on the large bowl that slid down his lap, onto the laminated floor. "Oh, crap!" With his phone still against his ear and one hand holding it there, Jeff climbed out of his bed. He was out of the blanket mess with his right foot, but the left one was stuck in a cuff made of blankets. Add popcorn on the ground, Jeff only having one free hand and nowhere to hold onto to stabilize his balance. "Holy shit. AH!" That's how he ends up face first on the ground with one foot still stuck in the blankets that dangled over the side of his bed.

"Evening to you too, Jeff. Do I need ask what you are doing?" Jeff sighed and rolled his eyes, shifting his weight so he lay more comfortable but not without breaking lots of innocent popcorn pieces. "I'm lying in a sea of popcorn. How about you, Wes?"

Jeff could hear his friend choke down the hysterical laughter behind a cough, obviously failing, and allowed himself a laugh too. The constant rising and lowering of his chest crushing more and more popcorn pieces.

"Sometimes I ask myself how you can be such a badass dancer when you're the clumsiest person I have _ever_ met, Jeffrey."

"Whatever."

There was another round of laughter before Wes spoke again. "I was going to ask you if you've got a minute to spare tomorrow so we could meet up for coffee?"

Jeff smiled. He loved meeting up with Wes, and since the boy never had a moment of freedom a chance like this rarely occurred. "Actually, I'm free tomorrow. How about I'll meet you at one?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll see you tomorrow."

The line closed down but instead of getting up like every other _normal_ person would've done, Jeff just stayed where he was, on the ground in a sea of popcorn. He turned his body, crushing the popcorn again, positioning himself so he could comfortably watch TV and picked up the nearest pieces of popcorn to eat them.

Jeff wound his way through the mass amount of people. It was a hot day and getting stuck in a crowd when he could be sitting in a nice smelling coffee shop with air-conditioning didn't exactly appeal to Jeff. So he made haste, occasionally bumping into people and excusing himself, and reached his destination right on time.

Jeff entered the coffee shop with a relieved sigh, leaning his back against the cool door for a moment before he took in his surroundings and searched for Wes.

The older boy waved him over to a table in the far back, and Jeff followed his motions until he reached the table where he realized that Wes wasn't alone.

"Nick?" Jeff wasn't sure who was more shocked, but he knew that both of their faces looked pretty similar at the moment. Simultaneously, both boys turned their head to watch Wes with a pointed look.

"Jeff, sit down please." Jeff obeyed but with his gaze fixed on Wes, who seemed to ignore both Jeff and Nick as he ordered ice coffee for all three of them before he finally started explaining. It

appeared Wes, and several other ex-Warblers including Sebastian, Hunter, Trent and David, had joined forces to plot a meeting for Jeff and Nick. Mostly out of selfishness because all of the boys were getting sick of their childless behavior. It hadn't only ruined the boys' relationship, but also their long cherished friendship. It was a proven fact that these boys were miserable without each other near.

"So what?" Nick chipped in, rudely. "You expect us to just sit here and chat away with each other?"

Jeff lowered his head, playing with the straw in his cup. He wasn't against a good conversation with Nick. There were quite a lot of issues that needed to be discussed. Wes, instead, turned in his chair, completely facing Nick and the latter found himself backing away – Old reflex from the times when Wes was still in charge of The Warblers with that awful gavel of his.

"I'm not expecting anything from you. I'm _demanding _you to sit here and talk like adults, because that appears to be very hard." And that's when he stood up. He took his cup and went over to the barista to pay for all three of them before he left, leaving Jeff stuck with Nick, or Nick stuck with Jeff.

The awkward silence was least to say _awkward_ and very long. Jeff was still playing with his straw of his untouched drink. He felt Nick's eyes burning through his head but he refused to look up, afraid of what he would do.

Eventually Nick spoke up. "This is ridiculous."

This made Jeff look up, his eyes narrowed. "Well, in case you haven't noticed yet, Wes is gone." He motioned to their surroundings. "If this is so ridiculous why are you still here?" Jeff raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair, taking a sip of the coffee, his eyes never leaving Nick's face. He carefully observed the rush of emotions passing Nick's face. Eventually he settled with confusion and Jeff had to keep himself from showing a smile of victory.

"I-This is… I've never asked you for an opinion." Nick stuttered.

Jeff rolled his eyes. Suddenly he understood the term 'childish behavior'. As he placed his cup back on the table between them he let out a low sigh. Both kept quiet. The silence wasn't as long as the first one but it was just as tense, and this time Jeff cut it. His gaze diverted from Nick's face.

"How are you?"

He wasn't looking at Nick, but he didn't need that to realize that his question caught Nick off guard. The other boy stumbled over his words and eventually soundly closed his mouth. Some ruffling sounded and then a glass slammed down on the wooden table. Jeff looked up and saw Nick staring at him. They stared at each other like they hadn't in years. That kind of stare where the whole outer world just disappears and it's only the two of them and time slows down.

It felt like eternity.

"I'm fine."

But eventually Nick ended the staring contest and downed half of his coffee at once – Ignoring the sudden brain freeze. – And then it was quiet again. This went on for an hour and a half. One would speak, both would stare, one would answer and then they were quiet. Over and over, and over again.

It wasn't until Jeff grew frustrated with the situation and violently threw his phone on the table. "Look, Nicholas," He noticed Nick visibly cringing at the use of his full name but ignored it. "this is not going to work." Jeff sighed and pocketed his phone.

"We might as well stop pretending." And that's all Jeff said before he turned around, ready to leave Nick and head for the door. But Nick stopped him.

"Sit down, Jeffrey." Jeff sat down as quickly as he stood up before. There was an undertone in Nick's voice that Jeff remembered all too well. He also never used Jeff's full name, not unless it was important.

He unlinked his sunglasses from his necklace and placed them on the table before he crossed his arms over each other and stared right into Nick's eyes, waiting for it – whatever _it_ may be – to come. But silence interrupted them again.

The silence gave Jeff time to think. He couldn't make out his feelings at the moment and it made him frustrated. All he wanted to do was punch Nick so hard he'd blackout, but he also wanted to kiss Nick like there was no tomorrow, and then he wanted Nick to leave and never show up again, but he didn't wanted Nick to leave. Jeff just wasn't sure what he wanted. He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He wasn't quick enough to grab his sunglasses from the table because Nick's hand already hovered over them. His eyes showing concern, genuine concern and it only made the tears in Jeff's eyes flow faster.

"Jeff?"

Nick was whispering, as if they were the only two in the coffees shop.

"Jeffy?"

Jeff ignored the calling of his name. He tried very hard not to leap into Nick's arms like he'd wanted to do so badly. The sudden change of behavior was unexpected. He didn't expect Nick to actually care. It would've been so much easier for Jeff if he could've just left and get home without any _complications_. It would've been like closure. Meaning Nick wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore, but then he had to _care_ and fuck up the situation even more. Just great.

"Jesus Christ! Are you going to tell me what's wrong or not?"

"Just leave me alone Nick." Jeff turned his head and glared at his ex-boyfriend before he started shouting.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you have to make this so much more difficult than it already is?!"

Ok, so maybe the shouting wasn't the best idea since they were still surrounded by people who were now staring at them, but Jeff couldn't help himself. "Why did you have to break up with me?"

That question surprised both Nick and Jeff. After two years, Jeff still didn't know the exact reason for the break-up. Not that he wanted to know, if he were honest with himself.

"Jeff."

"No, leave it." Jeff continued, this time in a lower voice. The boy climbed out of his seat, but his chance to bolt was taken away. Suddenly Nick's hand was on his arm, keeping him still and locked into place. All Jeff could do was stare at Nick, in shock. None of the boys was sure what the next step was. Do they kiss now? Does Jeff pull his arm away or demand Nick to let him go. Did Nick need to let go? The last time they touched Jeff blamed on his lack of self-control and Nick's drunken behavior. None was an excuse at the moment.

Jeff felt the grip on his arm loosen and suddenly Nick stood next to him. "Sorry." Nick commented, it didn't sound like an excuse and Jeff couldn't be too bothered. Nick led the way, leaving the coffee shop. Jeff grabbed his sunglasses and followed.

Outside the boys fell into a strangely comfortable silence. Jeff put his sunglasses on and pushed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. From the corner of his eye he noticed Nick looking into the opposite direction. Jeff remembered the movement; He was thinking, so Jeff let him.

They weren't heading in any particular direction and so it caught Jeff's attention when Nick fell behind and eventually stopped. "You wanna know why I broke it off?"

Jeff wiped around and stared at his ex-boyfriend through his sunglasses. He didn't want to know, he really didn't but he nodded anyways. Suddenly Nick was three steps closer and Jeff could see the sincerity in Nick's eyes. He sighed and motioned Jeff to follow him to a nearby bench where they sat down.

Jeff was expecting Nick to play with his hands, avoid Jeff's gaze or his voice stumbling over the words, but none was less true. Nick sat next to him, eyes steady on Jeff. "Ok, call me stupid, but I was highly convinced it wasn't going to work, you know, long distance."

He didn't interfere and let Nick continue. "I know, like I just said, stupid. It's just, you're out here becoming this famous dancer, and I'm stuck, trying to become a writer. I just thought-" Nick sighed deeply and Jeff felt his heart ache. "I was so sure that when you finally made it you were going to leave me. I mean, not that I didn't trust you, because of course I did, with all my heart, but you would want more. You have this adventures life and I'm just there, tagging along, being a burden."

That's when Jeff interrupted Nick, frowning as he did so. "A burden? Nick are you even serious right now? You could never be a burden to me. Nick you were everything to me, everything." Jeff wasn't even finished but he saw a pained smile forming on Nick's face.

"I know. I realized that the moment I told you I couldn't do it anymore." He looked up at Jeff, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly. "I regret it so much, Jeff."

If Jeff didn't knew better, he would've jumped in Nick's arms right there and then but time thought Jeff that life was about making decisions. Jeff was making one right now, one he'd probably regret later on, but one that came right from his heart, the one that up until this moment was broken.

He turned to fully face Nick, hand sliding out of Nick's. "I love you Nick. Always have, even when I wanted to throw you off of a roof, back at Dalton when you asked me for a chance. Or when all I wanted to do was strangle you when you were drunk and kissed me at that Warbler party last year, and don't get me started about that asshole of a boyfriend of yours." Nick chuckled, guilt slipping in his voice.

"Ex-boyfriend, please."

Jeff smiled slightly. "I love you Nick." Nick gazed up at Jeff, there was an unreadable expression in his eyes, something that looked like confusion.

"Can you promise me something?" Jeff asked, "Promise me to never stop being my friend?"

Nick's face fell and Jeff felt himself getting slightly nervous. Yes, this was his decision but it was a decision he made for two. For him and for Nick. _Crap. _Jeff was so sure this was the right decision, because it was, wasn't it? He needed to get over Nick, and this was how, right? Jeff was confused and it getting worse by the second. His hands played with his necklace, nervously. He didn't want to lose Nick again.

"Nick—"

"No, Jeff. Let me first, please?" Nick pleaded. "I'll promise to never stop being your friend, only if you promise me something too."

Jeff nodded eagerly. "Anything."

"Don't say that. You have no idea what I'm about to ask from you." Nick warned. His eyes were downcast. Jeff remembered only then that he still wore his sunglasses and he could observe the other boy unnoticed. His white T-shirt clung to his chest and there was shine on his forehead from the sun. Jeff felt his eyes take in all that was Nick – Thankful for the sunglasses – but then remembered that he wasn't supposed to. Friends, just friends. He also still had to promise Nick something, something that Jeff wasn't going to be happy about if he had to trust Nick's words. He took off his sunglasses and stared at the other.

"Promise me, if the time's right, to love me again?"

Jeff frowned, visibly confused. Didn't they just state that they were friends, _just friends_? He slid down the bench, shaking his head in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Just promise me."

"But—" Jeff didn't get a chance to answer because Nick interrupted him.

"Jeff, just promise me. Please?" He pleaded. It scared Jeff a little. Nick wasn't one to plead. Yes, he was one hell of a stubborn guy and always wanted the last word, but he never, _ever, _pleaded. Jeff couldn't do anything but agree, even if he still didn't understand what he was promising.

"Thank you." And the smile on Nick's face was enough for Jeff to tell himself that whatever that promise meant was worth it. The boys fell back into an old routine, the one they had as _friends_. They talked about life, school and random stuff and realized how much they had missed in the last two years and promised to keep in touch when Jeff announced he had to leave.

"Remember your promise." Jeff whispered into Nick's ear, when they loosened the hug and Nick nodded, seriously. "As long as you remember yours."

And they did.

Nick called the next day to arrange another friendly date and from there on it only seemed natural that their friendship grow back, twice as strong. Jeff still had feelings for Nick, but experience told him to keep them to himself. Nick kept his side of the promise and Jeff still wasn't sure what his side of the promise meant but thus far everything went better than Jeff could've imagined and time passed.

•••

"Truth or Dare!"

"NO!" Everyone shouted and Thad stared back at his friends like a deer caught in headlights. Slowly he sank back in his seat, eyes never leaving the group of guys shooting draggers at him. The silence dragged out until Jeff coughed, catching all attention.

"Now, let's just ignore Thad's horrifying suggestion," Thad cringed and slid further down his seat, clinging his coat tighter to his chest.

"And just continue with our lives. Yes, good idea Jeff." Nick finished, rolling his eyes. He shot a smirk into Jeff's direction and earned a tough punch from the latter.

Sebastian raised his glass with a smile, winking in Jeff's direction as he spoke up. "I have something to say. First of all, why don't we all raise our glass to Mr. and Mrs. Idiot over there for turning our lives into a bloody soap series over the past two years." Both Nick and Jeff glared steadily at their friend, who casually ignored both of them. The rest of the group did raise their glasses. The air filled with fog as the group chuckled, the cold catching their warm breaths and turning them into fog.

"'Bas, continue please? My drink is freezing, in case you haven't noticed." Hunter complained, pointing at the liquor in his glass that was slowly turning into a vast substance.

"Yeah!" Wes agreed. "And this bonfire is doing nothing to keep me warm."

"Shut up, all of you!" Sebastian snapped. "OK. All I wanted to say is that I'm extremely glad you guys are friends again and don't _ever _attempt a relationship again, deal?"

Jeff smiled and nudged Nick in his side, without looking, before he raised his glass too. "I'll toast to that. Myself is also glad that I have my best friend back, right Nicky?"

That's when all eyes turned to Nick, who apparently seemed more interested in his drink than whatever they were discussing. With his glove-covered thumb he traced the rim of the glass.

"Nicky?"

It was quiet for a long time. All eyes intensely focused on Nick. By this time, everyone needed a refill – Including a new glass because the temperature had no mercy. –, and Jeff was getting slightly worried. "Nick?"

And then Nick spoke. "Remember your promise?" He didn't look at Jeff, or at anyone for that matter. He just kept tracing his glass with his fingers.

"What promise?" Wes questioned.

Then, suddenly, it dawned on Jeff what he had promised Nick. It felt like a kick in the balls, to say at least. He knew he should've at least asked what that promised meant before promising Nick that he would love him again… Whenever the time was right. The realization was readable on Jeff's face and the other guys had a tough time following the situation. They stared from Nick, who was still staring at his glass, to Jeff, who was staring at Nick in utter horror, back to Nick, who's posture got weaker by the minutes passing, and right back at Jeff, who had sad eyes filling with tears.

"Nick…" Jeff wasn't sure what to say. What could he say? He promised Nick. Did he want to get back together? _Yes_. Did he think it was worth it? _No, he wasn't going to ruin their friendship like they did last time. _So what could he do? _Nothing?_

Nick suddenly moved. He stared up a Jeff and if the first imaginary kick in the balls wasn't enough already, this time he felt his heart break all over again. "Nicky, please."

"You promised." Was all Nick said before he placed his glass on the snow-covered ground and stood up. "If you all will excuse me."

They watched Nick walk down the lane and rounding the corner in dead silence. Only when Nick was out of sight sound interrupted the awful quietness.

Jeff lost him _again._ Only because he couldn't keep his stupid mouth shut and had to promise Nick something he couldn't do. It made him wonder, did Nick only kept his promise to see his fulfilled in time? Was that what their new friendship was based on?

"Asshole!" Jeff yelled between sobs, startling his surroundings. "Fucking asshole!"

The boy jumped up from the ground. His tearstained vision was blocked by Hunter who held him tightly, less in a comforting way but more to stop him from doing anything stupid. Not that Jeff knew what kind of stupid things he could perform at the moment. All he felt was betrayal and anger. Betrayed by Nick, angry with himself for falling for a trick like that. "Stupid asshole!"

The string of curses filled the night air, that carried it out on the silent streets, downwards the lane and around the corner, where Nick sat against the brick wall of the empty loft. His hands clutched his chest, trying to grab onto his heart as if it would stop the feeling of it ripping apart. The sobs he let out were unheard, yet the sound of his heart being torn into shreds filled his ears.

Nick blamed himself for thinking Jeff would ever love him again, after what he'd done. He was stupid, an idiot as Sebastian had brought it. Nick was desperate for Jeff's love, and as a result managed to fuck up their friendship twice and a relationship that would've lasted a lifetime hadn't Nick broken them up. He should've kept his mouth shut that day, two years ago, when he _thought _he wasn't in love with Jeff anymore.

If only he hadn't fucked up the best thing he had… he wouldn't be sitting against a warehouse in the middle of the night, in the freezing cold, sobbing.

If only he didn't lose Jeff. _His Jeff._


End file.
